I firmly believe there’s nothing a good spreadsheet can’t fix but I also appreciate talking about money can be…difficult. But it can also be a love language! Spreadsheets are my ultimate love language so it’s right up my alley!
Yes, talking about money is awkward. But not talking about it could be worse for your relationship. So put a date in the calendar, get a bottle of wine and keep reading to find out how to have these conversations.
Should we talk about money when we’re only dating?
Yes! Try and have your first money talk as early as you can, and set a good foundation. Some discussions might come up naturally. Like when you both reach for the check at the end of a date. But others might need a little push. If you’re in a serious relationship, you don’t want to wait too long to discover their financial goals don’t align with your own.
Opening up about your situation first can help get the conversation going and encourage your partner to engage.
Talking money can be sexy, I promise
Transparency is key. Just remember: people have different relationships with money. So listen carefully, keep an open mind, and maintain a judgement-free zone.
Read more about the psychology of money
Talk about your money philosophy. Are you a saver or a spender? Do they have anxiety when it comes to money, if so, why? And how can you support them?
Don’t forget to talk about long-term goals
In my opinion, this is the most important part. Don’t just talk about your current income and debt but discuss where you want to be in 3, 5 and 10 years and how that might influence your relationship. For example, if you’re focusing on paying off debts you might be considering moving back home for a few months to help with costs. These choices impact your relationships.
If you’re thinking about marriage, do you want to merge your finances or keep them separate? Who’s going to take responsibility for the budget and make sure all bills are made on time? There’s no right answer. You just need to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Consistency is key
The first conversation probably won’t cover everything – and that’s okay! Ease into these things. Set yourself a recurring money date. Get your favourite snacks and make it something to look forward to. That way, you and your partner can keep each other accountable and make sure you’re on track to reach your financial goals – together.